There are two sides of fear…
First—the kind of fear that instinctively keeps you from perceived dangers. For example, you’re out hiking and come upon a tall cliff. You instantly step way back for fear of falling off. Your fear kicks in and you respond by moving into fight or flight mode.
In this case, your fear is real and rational. Maybe you’ve never fallen off a cliff, but your memory quickly reminds you that you’ve experienced, seen or heard of this potential danger at hand.
Second—the kind of fear you imagine could occur, with no real or rational danger at hand. Some of these are harmless, but other times you could run yourself into an irrational fear frenzy.
A fear frenzy goes like this…
Your thoughts move from one ‘what if THIS happens’ to the next ‘what if’, serving up worse case scenarios, taking you around in circles, altering your views, leading you to worry and ultimately moving you into anxiety or overwhelm. Once in overwhelm, you become stuck, with little motivation to take action and move forward.
Phew! It’s exhausting.
In working with clients over the years, I’ve come across many facets of fear frenzies:
- fear of rejection
- fear of being irresponsible
- fear of being a phony
- fear of being invisible
- fear of failure
- fear of not having enough money
- fear of change
- fear of not being good enough
Do any of these feel close to home RIGHT NOW for you? If so, remember you CAN move past fear.
Fear is an affirmation of growth. It’s not your enemy.
Fear is an emotional nudge letting you know you’re alive, walking on your path into real growth. It helps you learn how to feel and in that process, you discover more of who you are.
Maybe you don’t go after the job you want because you fear not getting it…or…you’re holding off on pursuing a life dream because you’re afraid to fail…or…you stay in a relationship that doesn’t work because leaving is too scary and uncomfortable.
The more you practice moving beyond fear, the more you begin to fear less and move forward with courage.
Here are 4 tricks to tackle your fears during your day and win.
Once you face a fear head-on, you take it’s power away and can overcome it. So, let’s get started!
TRICK 1: Take note of what scares you.
If a fear pops up during your day, write it down on a notepad. Often times, when you write it down, it makes it easier to ignore in the moment. At the end of the day, set aside a half hour or so to be completely present and review your list. Did a particular fear come up more than once? Once we see the fear, we name it. Once we name it, we can tame it. But for now, just observe. Don’t deny any of your fears.
TRICK 2: Determine if each fear is a real danger vs imagined danger.
Know that the past does not equal the future. Just because something has happened in the past, it doesn’t mean it will occur again. Pay attention to what’s real vs imagined. Use your intuition and rational self. This next exercise will help too…
TRICK 3: Tame your fears. A fear named is a fear tamed.
Take one or more of your listed fears and describe what it feels like to have this fear. Now, imagine if this fear were to come true. You may realize in this moment that your fear is not possible, or not rational…this often helps dissolve the fear right away. If not, answer these questions…
- What’s the worse thing that might happen if this were to come true?
- How can you survive it? If you had to come up with a solution. Get creative.
- Process this new information into this next exercise…
TRICK 4: Practice taking action and moving beyond fear.
Acknowledge one fear you are trying got move past. Observe its existence. Ask if you are ready to release this fear holding you back. If so, feel that all is well and know that every situation is an opportunity for growth.
Now imagine your most courageous self putting your fear(s) aside. Use one of your solutions from the exercise above. What’s one small step you can take in the direction of your creative solution.
The more you practice these tricks, the better you can cope and manage your fears! Realize that your fears are often illusions and are not real. With that said, practice and practice some more.
Your life will become more exciting and fulfilling.
Now, let’s chat…
In the comments below, name ONE fear right now that’s causing a frenzy in your life. And if you’re ready to tackle and beat it, say I’M READY. For bonus…what are the steps you plan to take?
I’d love to hear about you and you never know how your feedback might be just the thing someone needs to hear today.
Remember, the world needs more of YOU in it. I hope this has supported you in some way get out there, be YOU and live a truly meaningful life.
P.S. Keep going…..love life, live well and learn more!
P.P.S. Free free to share this post with someone you know who could benefit!